I knew the fall would be busy, but boy is it giving me a good run for my money. We have had a lot going on over here at the Malley household but there are no complaints here. We are just busy living our hectic lives that we enjoyed before cancer barged in. The fall photography season continues to be booming and I am so grateful that within my first year of becoming an official business, I couldn't be busier! I apologize to my friends whom I haven't been able to spend as much time with lately, but starting this business is really a passion of mine and I am so grateful for the chance to do it -and to feel well enough to do it! A huge thank you to all of the clients that have trusted in me, while I continue to learn and grow. You can check out my most recent work here on Facebook or on my blog. I am also gearing up to add more hours at The Recovery Project, and I am really looking forward to that. I am so blessed to love my job as a physical therapist and to work at a place that is so completely supportive in every way. I was really worried about returning to work earlier this summer. I was worried if it would totally exhaust me - which it did in the beginning. Would it cause my back to hurt? Would I feel like my physical limitations hindered me as a therapist? Would I remember everything I worked so hard to learn for 7 1/2 years of college? ....The great news is that although I may need to brush up on some skills that I haven't used in awhile, it feels really good to be serving my patients again. I love interacting with my patients and co-workers (who are awesome, I might add!) and it feels even better to be using that good ole' left brain again. :) I am beyond grateful to be feeling well enough to be able to increase my hours again next month (once I am all healed up from surgery), and grateful to have employers that allow me to make this transition at my own pace. There always seems to be so much I want to catch you all up on but lately the thought of that alone, makes me feel tired which then deters me from updating the blog at all. I promise I will eventually get around to sharing some pretty big things that have happened recently, such as my dinner with Nancy Brinker and my trip to Chicago for the Metastatic Breast Cancer Network National Conference. Another wonderful event that recently took place was the 18th Annual Barbara Ann Karmanos Cancer Institute Heroes of Breast Cancer Awards. I have been treated at Karmanos ever since I was diagnosed and I have nothing but exceptional things to say about everyone I have worked with there. It is truly an incredible place and I am so thankful that I can receive the highest level of care so close to home. I was completely blown away a few months ago when I received a phone call notifying me that I was being honored with the Community Service Award at this years Heroes of Breast Cancer Awards. It was so unexpected and so meaningful to me on so many levels - but mostly because I have always said that although I would never wish this disease upon anyone, if I can at least turn it into something positive, then it's not for nothing. Then all the pain and heartache are at least worth it in some way to help a greater good. Although I never set out to be recognized in any way, I am extremely humbled that I was. Karmanos hosted a beautiful evening at the Max M. Fisher Music Center in Detroit on October 30 and I was able to invite my family to attend along with me. There were over 200 people in attendance (including my oncologist and the oncology social worker that I started our support group with) and it couldn't have been a nicer evening. There were ten awards given that evening to various people and organizations and I was so surprised to even be among them. It was a night filled with smiles and meeting new people, feeling hopeful about the incredible research that Dr. Lum is doing with metastatic breast cancer that earned him the Scientific Distinction Award, but also a night with moments of sorrow and tears as a strong and heartbroken mother accepted an award on her daughter's behalf after she passed away earlier this year from this disease. What touched me the most about the entire evening was an anonymous quote from a member of the support group I helped create at Karmanos. I was holding it together pretty well as they were introducing me but after that quote was read, I struggled to maintain my composure as I walked on the stage to give my acceptance speech. It was her words that meant the most because the women in my support group truly mean the world to me. I like to think that creating that group has helped, and will continue to help many women that travel this road, but truly it was a selfish endeavor as well - because every time I meet with them, I feel better. I feel more hopeful. I feel uplifted. I feel grateful, and happy, and blessed. And most importantly, I never feel alone. As I said in my speech that night, I am so humbled to have received this award, since it truly belongs to all of the young women in our group that have given so much back to me - and for them, I am eternally grateful. You can read more about all of the Heroes of Breast Cancer here. Surgery is in 11 days! I'm getting a little nervous but trusting that all will go well. Thanks for keeping me in your prayers. xoxo, Meg
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Could you hear the sound of my huge exhale this morning?! I think I let out the biggest, loudest sigh of relief I have ever experienced in my life. The scan results were great - thank you God! I am so grateful, so relieved, so over the moon with hope and optimism.
Leading up to this day, I had been feeling an odd sense of calm about these results. Of course there was a part of me that was nervous, but it was different this time. I felt such a sense of peace and faith that no matter what Dr. F told us, it would be okay. If the results weren't what we hoped, we would figure out a new path and continue to travel down it with just as much determination as we have up to this point. But then my back started hurting a little bit - and the nerves started to set in a little. My back had been feeling great but it started to feel a little more achy and stiff the past few days and I started thinking, "oh my God, is this a sign that it has spread throughout my bones?" Mike reminded me that we spent many hours sitting in uncomfortable conference chairs in New Orleans and then walked 5 or 6 miles a day as we explored the Big Easy. But, I couldn't help but worry that it was a bad omen. Even still, I felt good this morning - I felt calm and pretty relaxed heading into my appointment. That was until Dr. F walked into the room. Last time, he walked right in and said, "your scans look good". Boom - good news right off the bat - then I could breathe. Well, this time he walked in looking more serious than normal. Immediately, I looked over at Mike and felt worried. He proceeded to ask me about my symptoms and how I was feeling...why is he asking me this first? Does that mean things are worse? What isn't he saying? He then asked about New Orleans and we chatted about the conference, he did a full physical exam and it wasn't until about 8 hours later (or so it seemed) that he finally sat down on his stool and said, "the scans look good". AHHHHH.....I can breathe! And then the floodgates opened. I couldn't help but cry - for the first time ever, I cried in front of one of my doctors. Tears of joy, tears of relief, tears of gratitude. Overall, the scans showed no new evidence of disease. The medications I am taking are continuing to keep the cancer under control and prevent the further spread of the disease. The spots that have been visible on my spine continue to show evidence of healing. I can continue to stay the course and keep doing what I am doing. THANK YOU GOD! Thank you to all of you for your continued prayers, cards, emails, texts, etc. I truly believe in the power of prayer and I feel so blessed to have hundreds of people around the country (and some even around the world), praying for me and my family and sending us positive thoughts and well wishes. I can never say enough how much it means to us. I am not only celebrating this news with Mike and my mom, Doug and Jeff - but with my extended family, my friends, and each and every one of you that has followed my journey and kept me in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much! Life is good - have a wonderful day and take some time to be grateful for all the blessings in your life! xoxo, Meg ps - I haven't had time to go through all my pics from the conference and New Orleans yet. I took over 500 of them! But here are a few quick shots from my iphone :) We had a wonderful time in New Orleans and I can't wait to tell you more about it soon! Let the "scanxiety" begin....ugh, it's that dreaded time of year when I get all my scans redone. I try very hard to remain calm, optimistic and hopeful - but let me tell you, it's pretty tough. I have come to realize that this scanxiety is something that will never go away. It doesn't matter how many times I have a good scan - the worry, doubt and fear all come creeping back in when it's time to be scanned again. Although I like to focus on how wonderful it will feel to get news that I am still in remission, that I can stay on my current treatment regimen, and that everything I have been through is paying off - I can't help but be terrified of the alternative. That the cancer is active again, that it's spread, that my medicines are no longer effective, that it's infiltrated my liver or brain. My wonderful friend Meredith has taught me to try to think of the worst possible scenario and how I would handle that, and what would our plan be. That way, it takes away some of the fear of the unknown and you can try to help prepare yourself in some way should that be the news you receive. I have been spending some time thinking about this lately and trying to think about how my life could once again change in an instant when Dr. F delivers my scan results. Would I have to start chemo again? Would I need more radiation? Do I need to start new medications? What would the side effects of those be? Do I need to look into clinical trials? Last night as Mike and I laid in bed, I asked him that very question -"What would we do if the results show it has spread?" His response is just another example of why I am so blessed to have him love me. Without hesitation, he simply stated, "We would do anything we had to do to get you better." Over the course of these past 11 months, I have been slowly adjusting to living a life with cancer. I have come to understand that I will deal with this disease and its effects in one way or another for the rest of my life. Fine - no problem - I can do that. I just want to remain stable. I pray that the disease is still stable, and that I can continue living my life as I am right now. Aside from a few minor things, I have very little side effects with my current treatment plan. I feel good about 90% of the time. I am enjoying being back at the gym and back to yoga classes. I look forward to returning to my job after my next surgery. I am able to travel and spend time with family and friends without worrying too much about how my body will hold up. So, I can't help but worry about these upcoming results changing all of this for me. I used to say, "okay, I have cancer but hopefully I won't lose my hair", and then it went to "okay, I have to lose my hair but maybe I won't have to lose my breasts." Then it once again changed to, "well, I have to lose my breasts but please just let me still be able to have children." Sadly that statement was forced to transform once again into, "well, I can't have children but please just let me be stable and lead a long life with Mike." And of course "stability" is what I truly want - if I can't be cured (although I do still believe in miracles!), then I pray for stability - for a long, long time. But it all truly boils down to one thing - I can (and have) given up so, so much - and I would gladly do it again in a heartbeat if I knew it would allow me to lead a long and happy life with the people I love. But you see, no one can make such promises. None of us know what our future holds and how much time we have. The difference is that I never used to worry about dying before - I took it for granted that not everyone is afforded a long and healthy life like I assumed I would have. So, I have to make the conscious decision to try to release the worry and fear and give it up to God because I am not the one in control. All I can do is continue to live each day to the fullest and be grateful for each day. With that said, I would sincerely appreciate as many prayers, healing thoughts, and uplifting words as you can possibly share right now. These times are very tough- not only myself, but for Mike, Mom, Doug and Jeff as we all anxiously await the results. Please pray that this disease is still in remission, that my spine is healing, that my organs are free and clear of disease, and that our anxiety and worry doesn't consume us while we wait for the results. My tests are scheduled for this Tuesday and Wednesday and we won't receive the results until the following Thursday, which is March 1st. You have no idea how much your prayers, thoughts, and comments help lift us up and keep our spirits high during these times! Thankfully, Mike and I will have a great distraction from my scan results. We leave for New Orleans on Thursday morning! We are actually going to attend a breast cancer conference but we will have plenty of extra time to just enjoy the city on our own. We are such great travel partners and always have the best time when we are exploring somewhere new with each other. Exactly one year ago was the last trip we took by ourselves when we visited Seattle just a few weeks before I was diagnosed. Check out some images from our trip here. We had the best time and I am sure New Orleans will be no different! Friday evening through Sunday morning we will be attending the Annual Conference for Young Women Affected by Breast Cancer. Young women under the age of forty come from all over the world to attend this conference. There are excellent guests speakers, many of which are leading researchers in the field of breast cancer. There are numerous break out sessions dealing with everything from integrative medicine, an update on the latest metastatic research, and even sessions solely for male caregivers. We are both looking forward to learning a lot and I also hope to meet other young women with metastatic disease such as myself. Of course, we will find plenty of time for some beignets at Cafe du Monde, grabbing a great cajun meal, and checking out the sites of the French Quarter. We are really looking forward to it. Thanks in advance for all of your thoughts and prayers for my upcoming tests - I will be sure to update the blog next week once I get the results!
xoxo, Meghan I couldn't remember if I had a previous post with this same title, but it doesn't even matter if I repeat it because there is no better phrase to describe how I feel lately. I am exhausted. Wiped out. Completely drained. I don't think all the effects of radiation hit me until the very end, and now that they have, I am reminded of what true fatigue really is. It is much more than feeling a little sluggish, having heavy eyelids, or wanting to kick your feet up for a few minutes. The fatigue I feel is the kind where I could fall asleep at a red light. I wake up with my eyes burning as if I never slept because even 9 or 10 hours of sleep isn't enough. It's a level of fatigue where I arrive at the gym feeling like I already worked out for over an hour even if I just woke up. It's hard to explain unless you have experienced it. I will admit, however, that I have also been doing way too much and trying to live my life like the "pre-cancer" Meghan did...and I guess I am realizing that I am just not ready for that yet. Thankfully, Monday did end up being my last day of radiation. Yahoo! It is so nice to have this phase of my treatment behind me. Although I do love Karmanos and all the people there, it is really nice to not have to wake up each and every morning and drive there for treatment. Of course, I am still there a few times each week for other appointments, but the fact that radiation is now over is a huge relief and weight off my shoulders. I was a little fearful throughout all my weeks of treatment that my tissue expanders would rupture (a 20-30% chance), or that I would have a terrible skin reaction. Aside from what now looks like a pretty good sunburn, and of course the fatigue, I faired well through the entire process. I will continue to apply my topical steroid and Aquaphor on my skin three times each day and will have to wait and see how it heals. Dr. R (my radiation oncologist) informed me that the normal course of healing is that the skin will stay red for awhile, then turn darker and almost tan looking, until it finally peels off. It worked out great that my last day of radiation was MLK Day and Mike had the day off. He came with me and snapped my picture as I got to finally ring the bell signaling the completion of radiation. All of the staff and patients clap, hug and celebrate you once you reach this milestone. Instead of things calming down a bit once radiation ended, the exact opposite happened. I guess subconsciously I thought I could return to my old habits of running around like a mad woman, accomplishing a million things in a day. I succeeded at that for a couple of days but the reality of what my body is dealing with once again set in like a huge smack in the face. I doubt I will even get off the couch today. Between Monday and Wednesday last week, I had 6 appointments to go to! I swear, you would think I have all this time on my hands since I am not working right now but managing my appointments and medical care is seriously like a full time job. But I also got to do fun stuff too like the weekly Monday take-out and reality tv show night with Katie, a lunch date with Elizabeth and her little Luca, and I spent the entire day on Thursday in Ann Arbor with Julie, Will, and sweet 6 day old baby Mae. Check out this cutie.... Last night we had a great family get together at my Aunt Erin's house with my brother, cousins and their spouses. It was so nice to spend time with members of my family that I don't get to see nearly enough. Before we knew it, it was after midnight and I was finding myself struggling to stay awake.
This week will include another few doctors appointments and my two monthly injections into my abdomen - fun times! ;) But most importantly, we have learned that Mike has to have a surgery of his own on Tuesday. It should be a very straightforward outpatient procedure to remove a cyst on his tailbone that he has had for a few years but has really started to become a problem. In true Mike fashion, my selfless husband has not really been honest with me about how much pain he has been in and how much this was bothering him, until recently. The surgeon said it will likely continue to get worse and that it needs to come out. Due to some travel plans and Mike's upcoming baseball season, he wanted to have the surgery ASAP. So it looks like we are going to have a little bit of a role reversal for awhile....Mike will get to be the patient and I get to play nurse. To be honest, I don't like it. I am so grateful that normally I am the one that's the patient because I would be such a nervous wreck if I had to watch Mike go through what I have been through these past few months. Even though this procedure should be smooth sailing, I am worried and don't want to see Mike in pain. The surgeon said that these wounds almost always get infected so rather than closing it up all the way, the site will be left open and I will have to pack it with gauze and keep it clean. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers for a quick and easy procedure and complication free recovery. Although Mike is hoping to return to work after one week off, his surgeon said a full recovery should take 4-6 weeks, which means no running! If you know Mike and how many miles he runs every week, you know this will be a huge sacrifice for him. Say an extra prayer that he doesn't lose his mind, or drive me crazy with his restlessness. :) xoxo, Meg ps - I forgot to mention that I did see my oncologist, Dr. F for my 6 week follow up since my last blog post. No huge news to report except that my scans are now scheduled for the end of February. I would appreciate all the prayers you can muster up that my scans continue to be as great as they were last time - progression free and healing taking place in my spine. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! The alarm starts beeping at 8:10am and it's amazing how exhausted I feel. Wait, how is this possible? Didn't I just sleep for 7 or 8 hours? Ah yes, then I remember that the word "sleep" doesn't really have the same meaning to me anymore. Every night I crawl into bed and shiver in my pj pants and tank top, hoping that the chills will subside once I snuggle up next to Mike since he radiates heat like nobody's business! Once I stop shivering, my body starts to relax and I begin to drift off to sleep. Could be just an hour or maybe three or four and I awake to feeling like I'm on fire - hence only the tank top to bed. Sweating, wet, and feeling like I can't rip off the covers fast enough. Oh hot flashes and night sweats, how I loathe you. Thank goodness for my trusty remote to my ceiling fan because I honestly feel like I am sunbathing in the middle of the Sahara. Poor Mike usually wakes up to the cool summer breeze that I just created during the dead of winter in our bedroom and asks through his sleepy haze if I can shut it off yet. Sorry dear, grab another blanket because I am roasting over here! After awhile the fire slowly dies down and I am able to curl back up in bed, pull the covers up and try to fall back to sleep. But, have you ever worked out, sweat, and then come home and sit around for a bit in wet clothes? If you have, you know that the next thing that happens is your body gets freezing cold and chilled. So here I go on the opposite extreme - shivering, slightly pull on Mike's shirt which he instinctively knows means to roll over and spoon me to try to warm me up. Do I get out of bed and put on a long sleeve shirt? No way Jose! Because by now you should see the pattern and realize that long sleeves will be my arch nemesis when I am hit with the next hot flash in another few hours. And so the cycle continues. All the while, tossing and turning from one side to the other. No longer able to sleep on my stomach like I have for 29 years due to these tissue expanders in my chest. I am naturally more comfortable on my right side compared to my left but I often awake in the night worrying - "have I laid on my right arm for too long", "am I causing too much compression", "is this going to cause lymphedema issues", "crap, my hand is numb, better turn over". Then mix in the bouts of relentless itching across my chest that often happen in the night - but I'll get to that in a bit.....Ah yes, now I remember why I am so tired when that alarm goes off. After a few minutes of hitting snooze, I drag myself into the shower, begin my morning routine, then off I go to radiation. I have completed 26 treatments so far, every Monday through Friday, and pretty much drive to Karmanos on autopilot at this point. It's my own personal "Groundhog Day". I leave at the same time every morning, take the same route, park in the same lot, am greeted with the same cheerful smile and "Good morning, Meghan!" from Felicia at the front desk as I scan my personal Karmanos ID card to check in. I immediately head to the private changing area for radiation patients and go directly into Room #2. Not sure why but I have gone into Room #2 for each of my 26 treatments and I am sure I will for the remaining 7. I lock both doors on either side of the room, place my purse in my locker, change into my gown, open both doors back up and head out the opposite side I came in - into a private waiting room just for radiation patients. There is a row of comfy reclining chairs, a nice flat screen tv, and even a little basket of snacks. They treat us right at Karmanos :) For the first half of my radiation sessions, my appointments were in the afternoon so I often had to wait in my comfy chair for a few minutes until my name was called. Right before Christmas, I switched to the mornings when a spot opened up so I could just get radiation out of the way and get on with my day. Since making that switch, I rarely ever even sit down in the waiting room. The second I come out of Room #2, one of my lovely radiation therapists is standing in the doorway, greeting me with a smile and telling me they are ready for me. As I exit my cozy little waiting room, I head down a hallway that has a massive door in front of it. Plastered on the door are bright and bold "CAUTION" signs welcoming you into the wild world of radiation. As I turn the corner at the end of the hall, I am greeted with this big guy pictured below - the external beam radiation therapy machine. He's not as intimidating as he looks, I promise. The tv screen in the upper right corner of the picture below has my lovely face plastered on it (a really hideous picture, I might add!) and it's at that point that I have to say, "Yes, that's me. Let's get this party started!" I untie my gown, jump up on the table and get myself in perfect position...top of head aligned with the top of the headrest, right arm out of gown, left arm at side with hand on hip, legs straight and uncrossed, feet together, right arm stretched out to side and supported in armrests, head turned to left side. Normal breaths, no deep breathing, no holding the breath. No itching, no coughing, no movement of any kind. Relax those muscles, let the shoulders come down, release the tension in your traps. Like I said, it's Groundhog Day - I have this down to a science by now. The picture below allows you to see what is underneath the sheet that I lay on. The circular blue object is a headrest, and the two blue objects on the left are where I rest my arm in order to leave my chest and axilla exposed. There are numerous dials and switches, allowing for customization for each patient. They have this set up perfectly for me before I enter the room each day based on the measurements they collected during my very first visit. Once I am positioned properly on the table, the ladies read off various numbers from the tv screen which list all of the parameters for my radiation treatment. They use those numbers to make sure I am in the exact same position for every single treatment. The table is elevated, pushed back towards the machine, and moved centimeter by centimeter into the right position. They then turn off the lights, which then allows green laser beams to become visible. These laser beams are used to make sure they line up with my radiation tattoos (yep, permanent ones!), so that they can ensure I am in precisely the same spot for each treatment. Once I am all lined up and ready to go, the therapists turn the lights back on, race out of the room, and close that huge door I previously mentioned in order to protect themselves from the radiation. The first round of radiation comes directly head on while my chest is positioned exactly under the circular part of the machine pictured above. I know shortly after the ladies leave the room that a loud noise will begin, accompanied by a red light indicating that radiation is taking place. I close my eyes at that very second, as I have for each treatment session since the very first day, and I visualize the radiation destroying any last remnant of disease left in me. Not just in my chest, but everywhere. I visualize these nasty cells being vaporized and replaced with nothing but healthy and revitalized tissue. When the room becomes quiet again and the red light shuts off, I open my eyes. The ladies come back in and change the position of the table to line me up for treatment #2 which comes on an angle from the left side of my chest. The huge machine rotates around me until that circular arm is in place and after I am properly positioned, the process starts again. During the third and final round, the arm of the machine rotates all the way around to the right side and radiates from that angle. Within 10-15 minutes or so, I am hopping off the table and on my merry way. Up until last week, I also received a bolus treatment every other day. This meant that a soaking wet towel was placed over the entire radiation field over the right side of my chest and axilla. The wet towel simulates my skin so that the radiation treatment ends up being more superficial those days, targeting my actual skin versus the deeper tissues in my chest. This was stopped last week once the skin on my chest started to become redder and more irritated. The week after Christmas I started to get more of a burn on my chest and then little red bumps appeared, similar to what happens when you get sun poisoning. Dr. R, my radiation oncologist gave me hydrocortisone cream to start applying on those areas in addition to the Aquaphor that I have to put all over my chest three times each day since radiation started. Over the next few days, my skin became redder, more itchy, more irritated. It was so bright red, like a very severe sunburn. Then on Monday I noticed a blister - uh oh, this is no good. I stopped using the hydrocortisone one day and swore I noticed that my skin looked better. Well, I have come to trust my gut instincts so much more these days and I started to feel like maybe I was having some sort of reaction to the hyrdocortisone. To make an even longer story shorter, although it would be extremely rare, Dr. R believed me when I told her my theory so we stopped the hydrocortisone and switched to another topical steroid. We also stopped the bolus treatments at that time to give my skin a break. Well, what do you know - my skin has become dramatically better ever since and it turned out I did have an allergic reaction to the hydrocortisone. I am so glad we figured that out and that my skin is a little less irritated. Aside from the skin issues, the fatigue is really getting to me. I am still staying super busy but I feel exhausted by the end of the day - sometimes even by the middle of the day actually. :) I have also headed back to the gym so that wears me out a bit too, even though I know it's worth it. Katie and I were always gym buddies before I was diagnosed - we are a perfect pair together because when one of us doesn't feel like going, the other one makes us go and get that workout in. Well, my gym membership has been on hold all these months during treatment but I knew I wanted to go back right after the new year. Katie just had sweet little Alice this fall so she was just now ready to go back too. It was perfect timing for us to get back into the groove together. We made it to the gym four times together last week and we plan to do the same each and every week - and it feels great! I am taking it slow and not being too hard on my body but it sure feels good to be exercising again and I am more motivated than ever now that I know my health truly depends on it! That's the latest and greatest with me. Threw a lot of info at ya this time, huh? Well, if that wasn't enough and you would like to learn more information on exactly what radiation therapy is, the purpose and how it's administered, please click here. Addendum - After writing this post I just found out that some things may change and Monday might end up being my last day of radiation. Yay! It's a long story and a little confusing and I won't even know until I get there on Monday if it's my last day or not but that would be great to finish up a little early. Keep your fingers crossed. :) Before I wrap up, I would like to wish my big bro a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Jeff, I know I was the annoying little sister that followed you around, bugged you and your friends, and always got on your nerves as kids. But I am so grateful that we have grown up to be such great friends. You have always been there for me - sticking up for me to an elementary school bully, driving 5 hours to pick me up in college just to immediately turn around for the drive back just so I could come home for a visit, to bringing me dinner and hanging out when I am not feeling like getting off the couch these days. You have been so supportive these past 10 months, and I hope you know how much that means to me. I love you very much and I hope you have the great birthday you deserve. Looking forward to celebrating with you tonight. xoxo, Meghan ps - please don't kill me for posting these pictures of you...I couldn't help myself! :) We've come a long way from our curly little afros...except I happen to be rocking an afro again these days - darn it ;)
This week has been filled with all sorts of up's and down's which has led to this post being delayed a bit. It seemed like every time I would sit down to write, I would feel a certain way and when I would come back to finish it later, I would be feeling a completely new set of emotions and delete everything I had previously typed. So, where to start?... We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, followed by a great weekend in Chicago to celebrate our friend Mike's wedding. We had a really fun weekend and it was nice to catch up with some old friends that we don't get a chance to see too often. On Monday, I headed back to see Dr. M (my plastic surgeon) and after one more fill of my tissue expanders, he gave me the okay that we could be done with this step so I could move on to radiation. So, come Wednesday morning I was back at Karmanos for a couple hours getting all geared up to start this next leg of the journey. I met with Dr. R (my radiation oncologist) for awhile to talk about how I have been doing post-surgery, and to go over all the potential risks and side effects of radiation. Oh you know, just the unavoidable scarring down of up to 1/3 of my right lung, potential demineralization of my ribs putting me at risk of fractures, possible rupture of my tissue expander, lymphedema, fatigue, and burning/scarring of my skin...just to name a few. No biggie, just another day in the life of a cancer patient...being constantly faced with choices that bring uncertain and potentially dangerous outcomes no matter which way you go. Radiation brings many risks, but I feel that lingering cancer cells pose an even greater risk...therefore, the choice is to let the radiation begin! I will have radiation treatments every single day (Monday through Friday) starting this Monday, all the way through the end of January. However, we have decided to hold off on radiating my spine at this point. This is a much more dangerous area of the body to radiate, and a place that we don't want to radiate unless we really have to. Right now, I am not really having symptoms of back pain due to my cancer. I have an achy and sore back most days, but it is more due to deconditioning and fatigue, rather than the metastases. So, for now we will wait and see how I feel and if the time comes when pain becomes a bigger issue, maybe we will radiate. After meeting with Dr. R, I headed in for my CT simulation. This is when my radiation therapist and Dr. R used a CT machine to determine the exact location and size of the area to be treated. After a bunch of different marks and assessments, I received 4 permanent little blue tattoos to mark where the radiation beam would be directed at each of my treatments. My right chest wall will be the area radiated, so I now have one small tattoo under my right collarbone, one over my sternum, one near my waist on my left side and the last one near my waist on the right side. After this procedure was over, I received my usual monthly injection of Zoladex (the one that suppresses my ovary function), and also received my first injection of Xgeva, which is a bone strengthener that I will be getting every month from now on. Needless to say, when I left Karmanos on Wednesday afternoon, I truly felt like a human pin cushion. Last Wednesday night, Dr. R called me which made me a little nervous to say the least. Luckily, all she wanted to tell me was that I needed to have some of the saline removed from my left breast so that it wouldn't interfere with the angle of the radiation beam. I knew that some of the fluid may need to be removed but I was completely shocked after leaving Dr. M's office on Thursday afternoon when they removed nearly half of the saline from my tissue expander. I had a "little" meltdown in my car while driving home - for the first time, I truly felt so sad about how I looked. I worked so hard to tolerate the quick expansion of my expanders and I felt that all of the discomfort I went through was for nothing. Now I am left with this stretched out skin and a deflated looking breast and it was just an emotional moment for me. I didn't realize how different it would look after having 150 cc's removed and for whatever reason, I just lost it. I rarely complain about all of the things my body has had to go through - how I have been poked, prodded, cut up and stretched. I know that it is not the biggest deal in the great scheme of things. But the simple fact is that sometimes it's just a lot to take. I know my dissatisfaction with the way I now look will only be temporary but sometimes I just need to let myself be upset and then I can move on and get over it. Thankfully, immediately after pulling myself together from that appointment, I left to pick up my wonderful friend Meredith and we headed to our support group meeting. I always feel better after going to those meetings and it was just what I needed that day. We had five new people attend this time and I am grateful for the love and support each person brings to the group. Friday I visited many of my old co-workers at the Rehab Institute of Michigan and it totally made my day to see them. I am grateful for the time I spent working there and the friendships I made because many of these women continue to be my biggest supporters as I go through this battle. The real part of this week that has weighed heavily on my heart is hearing the news that a special friend of mine is not doing too well. This is a friend I have met along this journey, who is also battling cancer. We have so many crazy connections and similarities (not to mention we were born on the same day!), and she was diagnosed with advanced cancer just about a month after me. I have spent much of this week worrying about her, praying for her, and trying to remain positive about my own health while being faced with the devastating reality of what this disease can do to a vibrant, beautiful 29 year old woman like her. If you could please say some extra prayers for my friend and her family. Prayers for healing, decreased pain, strength, and peace as she bravely continues this fight. I would really appreciate it. This upcoming week will be another busy one filled with daily radiation appointments, the start of therapy for my chest muscles and shoulders, holiday shopping, and a few special events in the evenings too. Please keep me in your prayers, because I know they are helping me each and every day. Although I make sure to enjoy each day and I am very optimistic about my future, it doesn't mean that there aren't daily struggles and it is your love, support and prayers that help me through those times. xoxo, Meg Loved spending time with some of my favorite ladies the night before Thanksgiving All dolled up with my handsome husband at Mike and Noreen's wedding! ....ps-can you tell the hair is starting to take on a life of it's own?! My beautiful friend Julie and her husband Joe were at the wedding too - so glad we were able to spend some time in Chicago together. Love you, Poo!
Well, it looks like I am starting to return to the land of the living...(very) slowly but surely. I finally started to feel better this past Tuesday, and I couldn't be more grateful. It truly felt like it was never going to happen. Each day since then, I have started to feel a little bit better than the day before but it is amazing to me how drained and exhausted I feel even though I do nothing but lay around all day. It's the craziest thing and I have to try very hard not to let it frustrate me too much. I have never in my life spent this much time doing nothing, staying indoors, and actually staying in bed or on the couch all day. I can tell I am feeling better because I have started to feel very antsy and bored. Last Monday I wasn't able to go to see Dr. M as I had hoped because my drains were still collecting way too much fluid to have them removed. I was super bummed but hopeful they would be out in the next day or so. On Tuesday, I headed to Beaumont to see Dr. R, the physical medicine and rehabilitation doc. He checked out my range of motion, measured me to make sure I wasn't showing signs of lymphedema, and we discussed the possible reasons why I had been feeling so awful. Overall, he said things looked good but unfortunately, I couldn't really start doing much movement with my arms until the drains came out. This is yet another reason that I have been frustrated by these suckers because the longer they stay in = the longer I have to wait to start moving my arms = the tighter my pecs and shoulders become = the more difficult my recovery will be to regain full range of motion and strength. But, I have tried to be patient and respect my body's healing process. This has been a tough one for me as I have often joked with Mike that there is no way I could ever be a teacher like he is because patience has never been my strong suit. ;) Luckily, by Wednesday morning my left drain had really slowed down and I was able to get it removed. YAY! This means I can now lay on my left side without too much discomfort. I figured that the right one would at least be out by Friday, but unfortunately this bugger is still in and draining a lot! I can't believe I am going on 3 1/2 weeks since surgery and it's still in. I did receive my first fill of my tissue expanders on Wednesday in the hopes that it would slow down some of my drainage. Imagine having a balloon (but one that feels like an aluminum can) underneath your pec muscles and then having someone inject saline into it while you feel it expand within your chest. It's the oddest feeling - and not the most comfortable to be completely honest. I will continue to go in weekly for my fills for about 6 weeks until the tissue expanders are completely filled, at which point I will begin radiation. So, I am planning on heading back to the doctor tomorrow in the hopes of receiving another fill to slow down this drainage. The theory is that the fluid will continue to collect and drain as long as there is space to do so - if we fill that space by filling the expander, then the drainage will hopefully slow down. I also had to head over to Karmanos' Weisberg Center on Wednesday to get my monthly shot of Zoladex (the med that shuts my ovaries down and puts me into premature menopause). While I was there, I helped represent breast cancer patients as the Detroit Red Wings presented Karmanos with a check for the money they raised during their Breast Cancer Awareness Game. Former Detroit Red Wing, Chris Chelios was there representing the Wings, in addition to Nick Karmanos, Vice President of Karmanos Cancer Institute. Myself and two other young breast cancer survivors posed with Chris and Nick while holding a banner signed by the entire Red Wings team and hundreds of fans. We were photographed and interviewed by our local ABC and FOX affiliates. Unfortunately, I missed the clip of us on the news that night but some of my friends caught it. It was a fun thing to be a part of and neat to meet Chris Chelios. I have continued to battle fatigue since the surgery, so the rest of the week was spent laying pretty low. A few visits from friends was really nice and helped distract me from these walls that I feel are closing in on me. On Saturday night, I finally busted out of the house for the first time in 3 weeks for something other than a doctors appointment or support group meeting. Mike and I headed to the movies and it was so nice to just have a change of scenery for a few hours, and go on a date with my cute husband.
I am hoping to head back to Dr. M's office tomorrow morning to get another fill for my tissue expanders which will then hopefully slow down the drainage...keep your fingers crossed! I want to give a special thank you to Aunt Bridget for driving me to my appointments this week and for sitting outside with me after I realized I locked myself out of the house. :) Also, to my wonderful next door neighbor, Teri for cleaning up all of my flower beds in the backyard. She spent this afternoon pulling weeds, cutting back perennials, digging up my annuals, and sprucing everything up - it looks wonderful and I am so grateful since I can't get out there and do it myself this fall. I truly appreciate all of the well wishes, words of encouragement, and prayers I have received over the past couple of weeks. This has been one of the most difficult times I have had along this journey since my diagnosis. I am grateful to be feeling better but it's an extremely slow process and it's a huge reminder that as strong as I think I am, that can change in the blink of an eye. I hope to update you all soon with nothing but good news of healing and the removal of this last pesky drain! xoxo, Meghan There are some weeks that are so action packed that I swear they just fly by in the blink of an eye. This past week was definitely one of them. It consisted of the YSC "In Living Pink" fashion show, lunch & dinner dates with friends, being interviewed and photographed by the Detroit Free Press (yes, you read that right! more on that later...), the amazing "Rocking For A Reason" benefit concert, an appointment with another new doctor, celebrating a friend's birthday, a fabulous 3 hour coffee date with a friend and fellow cancer warrior, and the beginning of a young adult support group that I helped initiate. Whew! Don't get me wrong, I sleep in late and get in as much rest as possible in between, but boy does the calendar fill up. Last Thursday night was the "In Living Pink" fashion show benefiting the Young Survival Coalition of metro Detroit. I really had no idea what I was signing up for but it turned out to be a really fun night. The YSC women did an incredible job turning the Royal Oak Farmers Market into a beautiful venue and they raised a lot of money for a wonderful cause. I had a great time pretending to be a model for a night, along with a few other survivors that are involved in YSC. Thank you so much to my family and friends that were able to come out and cheer me on as I channeled my inner Heidi Klum when I hit the runway. ;) Thanks to the talented, Miss Kyle Dorcey for the beautiful photos and to Kristy of YSC for the group shots included below. BreAnne and me - she is the talented designer that created my dress Just a few of the other wonderful survivors I have met through YSC - Lori, Lisa & Kristy Some of the women of the metro Detroit chapter of YSC What a fun (and exhausting) night. I have realized that I can no longer stand for hours on end, especially in high heels. My body, particularly my back, paid for it the next day but it was worth it in the end and I felt much better after a lot of extra rest. Sunday marked the incredible "Rocking For A Reason" benefit concert that the fabulous, Patty LaBella spearheaded for us. Wow, I don't even know what to say about it...the entire event was completely overwhelming and uplifting. It was truly remarkable to see how many family, friends and community members came out to support us and show their love. I have no clue how many people were there at one point or another throughout the evening, but it was just so touching to see all of you and to feel the love from so many people. What also completely blew me away was not only the amazing generosity of everyone that came to the event but also that of all those that donated great items for the auction. From family members, to those that I have never even met, to local businesses, to a huge corporation such as Martha Stewart Living ---I couldn't even believe the donations that were coming in for the auction. And on top of that, I was so touched and humbled by all of those that placed bids and bought raffle tickets -it was truly wonderful. To be honest, this type of thing is difficult for me. It is hard to go to these events and be the one that they are benefiting. I wish I was attending to help someone else out - that it wasn't me that was in all the pictures and who's name was on the poster. I am not comfortable in the spotlight like this and I am definitely not comfortable accepting this kind of help from others. I feel like I never know how to adequately thank all of you - how to say what's really on my mind and in my heart. There are just no words that accurately describe my gratitude. Please know how much this event meant to Mike and I and how thankful we are for it. It will keep our spirits soaring high for a very long time. A HUGE special thanks to Patty & Joe LaBella, Eric Kozlowski (you are awesome!), The Berkley Music Company, The Berkley Front, the adorable little Blake, Katie Grace, ONNA, The High Strung, and all of the others that helped make this event a reality. Thank you all so very much! Me & the bro My awesome brother in-law, Dan and his wonderful girlfriend, Melissa with Mike & I After spending much of Monday in bed recuperating, I met yet another new member of the medical team on Tuesday. Dr. R is Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation (PM&R) doc at Beaumont. He is the one that will be following me closely to monitor for any lymphedema so our visit included a lot of pre-op measurements and physical examination. We also discussed stretches I can be doing to prepare for surgery, exercises to start doing after surgery, and exercises and precautions I need to take with my spine due to the fragile nature of my vertebrae and my increased risk for fractures from here on out. I think Dr. R liked the fact that I am a physical therapist since I was already extremely familiar with much of what he was telling and that I will be a diligent patient with my "homework" after surgery. I will see Dr. R again two weeks after surgery to take my first post-op measurements and to assess my upper body range of motion. I am once again thankful for another knowledgable and personable addition to my medical team.
Thursday night was the first meeting for our "Young Adult Survivor" group at Karmanos. There are many wonderful support groups at Karmanos but there is not one dedicated solely to young adults who are cancer survivors. On a few occasions, I discussed this need with Kathleen, the social worker at the Weisberg Center, and how there are so many of us in our 20's and 30's that are treated there. Kathleen had always wanted to start a group like this but needed someone that wanted to coordinate it...insert my name here. :) So, I gladly signed on and we held our first meeting last night. It went very well and I am looking forward to seeing it grow as we provide support for each other and learn how to navigate issues that only young adults with cancer can truly understand. The group is open to anyone that is a young adult cancer survivor, whether they are treated at Karmanos or not, so if you know someone that would benefit from talking to others in a similar position, please send them our way. Our next meeting is Thursday, Oct 27 at 5:30pm at the Weisberg Center in Farmington Hills. Saturday is October 1 which marks the beginning of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The Detroit Free Press likes to do some special features in October dealing with breast cancer in general and to promote awareness, early detection, etc. So, to make a long story short, my name was passed along to the director of media relations at Karmanos and after talking with her, she then passed along my name and story to the Free Press. The editors receive stories from numerous people and hospital systems, but they ended up picking my story and deciding to interview me! So crazy, huh?! We really wanted to highlight the start of our new Young Adult Survivor Group at Karmanos in addition to telling my unique story of when breast cancer doesn't present as a detectable lump. A couple weeks ago, a reporter from the Free Press visited me at home and we spent a lot of time together discussing all sorts of aspects of my life and this journey I am on. Then, a photographer followed me at the "In Living Pink" fashion show, and another photographer came to our home last Saturday to capture pictures of Mike and I. Although, I never wanted any attention in this way, if my story can further spread awareness and possibly help just one person, then it's totally worth it. So, check out the Detroit Free Press, this Sunday, October 2! I have no idea what will make it into the paper - it could be the tiniest little article ever, but keep your eyes peeled for it. *As a quick side note, I want to clarify just one thing before you read that article. The great reporter that I have been working with has called me numerous times to check her facts and make sure she has all the details she needs. Well, the other day she was reading me a quote she received from Dr. F, my oncologist. It read something to the effect that I had an "excellent" response to chemotherapy and that I may undergo clinical trials in the future but right now I am in "remission". I was like, "REMISSION?!" What?! That is a huge word with a lot of different meanings and I have NEVER heard Dr. F use that word to me directly. I got all excited because hearing that word has always been my goal, but then I tried to calm myself down and realize what mind games different terminology and verbiage can play. Remission is defined as, "the state of absence of disease activity in patients with a chronic illness, with the possibility of return of disease activity." So, with that said - I am thrilled to hear Dr. F say this, because I take it as my disease is stable and not acting up and causing problems. BUT, please do not be mistaken that this means I am cancer-free. I don't want anyone to read this article and be confused and think that the cancer is gone, and "why didn't Meghan tell us that she beat it and she's in remission now?!" That's not exactly the case. I hope to be considered in "remission" for many, many years with the disease behaving like we want it to, that it's responding to my medications, and that there is not current "disease activity". I pray that I will eventually be told there is "no evidence of disease", which means that all of the detectable cancer cells have been killed and that no evidence of further disease can be picked up on my imaging tests....but I have a chronic disease with no known cure, and it will always be considered a part of me. I hope that makes sense and that I didn't confuse anyone any further. Well, the surgery countdown is now at two weeks! Yikes! I meet with my plastic surgeon, Dr. M on Monday to finalize plans for the reconstruction side of the double mastectomy. I will then meet yet another new member to the team on Wednesday. Another Dr. R will be added to the gang and she will be my Radiation Oncologist at Karmanos. I won't start radiation until approximately 6 weeks after surgery but it will be nice to chat with her now and discuss our game plan. I will definitely update everyone after those two appointments once I know more about what the next steps of this journey will entail. I am looking forward to a weekend consisting of dinner with friends, a breast cancer luncheon/fundraiser where I will get to meet a true inspiration for those living with metastatic cancer (I'll fill ya in next time on that), a Callaghan family reunion, Sunday brunch with some best friends from Chicago, and checking out this newspaper article. Looks to be a busy one...par for the course, right?! :) xoxo, Meghan There always seems to be so much on my mind when I sit down to prepare my next update. I can assure you that there is never a shortage of topics or things I want to share. Sometimes the hard part is narrowing down all the things that are running through my mind to figure out exactly what I want to focus my energy on. I guess that is what I do everyday - I choose what to focus my energy on that day and try to tune out the rest. So when people say, "you are so positive" or "you have such a great attitude", I really do appreciate it but it's simply about making the conscious choice to do your best to block out the negative, focus on the positive, and enjoy each moment. But, I also feel that it's important to say that it's not all positive, happy thoughts, 100% of the time. There is a part of me that is sad - every day. There is a part of me that is grieving - every day. There is a part of me that is scared - every day. And there is a part of me that feels lost - each and every single day. But, I go to bed each night watching Mike as he falls asleep, quietly reaching out to hold his hand without waking him, and thanking God for another wonderful day with my husband...because that is all I ever truly want. My hair began to slowly grow back about a month or so ago (while still on Taxol) and within the last couple of weeks it has really started to get longer and thicker. So, last week when we went to the cider mill, I decided to be brave and venture out without my scarf. It might not sound like a very big deal to most, but until you are forced to lose your hair, you have no idea what it feels like to go through these types of transitions. Losing my hair wasn't as devastating as it is to many people, but I became very used to my wig and scarves and aside from when I was inside my house, I had something on my head 24/7. I remember stepping out onto my porch once to get the mail and realized that I didn't have a scarf on and all of a sudden I stood paralyzed, looking around to see if any neighbors saw me. I felt like I was just caught naked by the entire community! So now that my hair is growing back, I have found that it was hard to part with the security blanket that my scarves and wig had become. It feels like another crossroads - the start of a new path. It's a little hard for me to put into words but with my hair growing back it sometimes feels like people will think that means I am all better, or the cancer is gone because chemo is over, and that I can just go ahead and return to my "normal" life. And unfortunately, none of those things are true. Yes, I will now have hair and I won't be as readily identified as a cancer patient without my scarves -but it doesn't mean I am okay. I am reminded of this cancer inside me each and every day when my back aches and throbs, when I am fatigued after lunch with a friend, and when I think of the long road ahead. I am a little nervous that because people say I look good and I will now look even less like a patient, that I will be expected to just put the pieces back together and move on - but please realize this is far from over and I am still fighting. I felt very self-conscious at the cider mill last Sunday, and not to mention cold from the breeze on my head that I hadn't felt in a long time! :) Although my wonderful husband reassured me a million times that I looked beautiful, and that he loved my new "edgy" look, I didn't feel like myself anymore without my scarves. But, I realized that I needed to step outside of my comfort zone once again and take this step forward. I haven't put a scarf back on since. Each day last week I ventured out to different places, all while sporting my new pixie cut. I have become a little more confident and feel a little bit more myself each day - although I am still caught off guard when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or store window. I did wear my wig to our friend Matt's wedding last Saturday because I just didn't feel right without it once I was all dressed up - but that might be the last time I wear it for long while...maybe ever! So what do ya think?!..... And if you are wondering...yes, it is starting to curl in the back, and yes, it is starting to look more and more red each day. I have heard all sorts of stories of women having their hair come back in all kinds of new ways after chemo but something tells me that this little ginger is going to get her red curls back...and I never thought I would say it, but I really hope I do. Through this experience, I have come to really appreciate what I had and the uniqueness that was my hair - getting that back will help me feel a little bit more like myself again...and I miss that. Things are still super busy around here. I continue to struggle to find a balance between social activities with friends, household responsibilities, photography, and doctors appointments. In my mind, I continue to think that I can go, go, go like I used to-but increased back pain has been a reminder lately that I am doing too much and need to rest more. Before surgery, I have four more doctors appointments, four photography sessions, a fundraiser luncheon for The Pink Fund, a family reunion, starting a young adult cancer survivor support group at Karmanos, a few get togethers with friends, the charity fashion show benefiting the YSC, and the amazing benefit concert on Sunday that Patty is planning for us! Just to name a few! ;) Don't worry Mom, I am going to make sure to get plenty of rest in there too. Tomorrow is the fashion show benefiting the Young Survival Coalition - it should be a fun time and if you would like to attend, you can still buy tickets at the door. This Sunday is the wonderful benefit concert that Patty has been tirelessly planning for us. It is going to be such a fun time with fabulous music, and the silent auction items are incredible! I can't believe how generous everyone is! These are just a few of the great items available on Sunday....2 acoustic guitars, Red Wings tickets, two autographed hockey sticks from the Red Wings, an incredible gift bag from Martha Stewart Living including an autographed book and tickets to a live taping in NYC (a package valued at over $400!), an autographed football from Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford, local restaurant gift cards and much more! Patty and Eric from Berkley Music - we are so thankful and truly excited for Sunday! Hope to see you Sunday if you are in our neck of the woods. Thanks again for the continued prayers, love and support for not only myself but for my family too! We truly appreciate each and every one of you!
xoxo, Meghan ps. Mike would like me to mention that he took the colored pic of me posted above. He's finally learning how to work the camera - maybe that means I'll finally get to be in more pics now! :) We finally received the good news we were praying for! Thank you, Lord!!! And thank you to all of you, our amazing family and friends for your non-stop prayers and well wishes - it definitely paid off! I am totally wiped out from an extremely long and exhausting day, so hopefully I include all of the important details. We had long appointments with both Dr. F and Dr. B today which meant we were at doctors offices from 9:45am until 3pm with a one hour break for lunch in the car while driving. It's all worth it though, for such great news! We met with Dr. F first and he informed us right away that the test results looked great! He said that the CT, MRI, and bone scan showed the following... --breast tumors demonstrate significant shrinking --axillary lymph nodes demonstrate shrinking --there is evidence of healing in the bone throughout my spine --no new evidence of disease! BOOYAH! (okay, not exactly Dr. F's words) Overall, this was the best possible news we could have received and we couldn't be more relieved and thankful! I am so grateful that these past five months of chemo haven't been for nothing, and that the cancer is actually responding well. Dr. F was very pleased and said that we are definitely headed in the right direction. He said that the imaging studies will always show abnormalities throughout my thoracic spine where there has been cancer, but now there appears to be evidence of healing. He even said that I may not have to have radiation to my spine, which would be wonderful! The rest of my appointment with him consisted of formulating our plan of where we go from here. So, here's the latest... --start hormone therapy (Tamoxifen) - a daily oral medication which will interfere with the activity of estrogen, which is what is feeding my cancer --start Zoladex - a monthly injection to suppress my ovary function. This will shut down my ovaries and stop them from making estrogen so that the tumors cannot get the estrogen they need to grow. This also means MENOPAUSE! Just another "perk" of having the big C. ;) Who would have thought I would start menopause at the age of 29?! --after surgery, start Denosumab - a monthly injection to strengthen my bones and try to protect them from further damage due to metastasis So, today I started the Tamoxifen and received my first injection of Zoladex - a humungous needle which is injected into my abdomen = fun times! I will have a follow up appointment with Dr. F in 6 weeks and will be re-scanned every 6 months at the absolute latest - it could be earlier than that if I am having any new symptoms or concerns. After a collective high five between Mike, Mom and I, we nearly skipped out of Karmanos and headed over to Beaumont to meet with Dr. B. After a physical exam and review of my imaging results, Dr. B also informed us that she was very pleased with my progress. She said that she didn't expect my cancer to respond so well to the chemo since it normally responds best to the hormone therapy. We met with Dr. B for at least an hour, discussing all the details of the surgery, what I can expect, and what recovery will be like. Dr. B's wonderful nurse, Linda then used this great new device to take some measurements of my arms in order to compare them to post-op measurements to track any possible lymphedema. Lastly, we finally set our date for surgery. Friday, October 14 is the big day for the bilateral mastectomy. I am definitely nervous about it but happy to finally have a plan and know when it will be. This will give me some time to get my energy level and blood counts back up since they are still pretty low due to chemo. So, that's the latest and greatest news! More upcoming appointments on the horizon are... --meeting with Dr. M my plastic surgeon on October 3 for final preparations before surgery and the start of the reconstruction process --meet with another new team member, Dr. R who is a physical medicine and rehabilitation doc at Beaumont to take more pre-op measurements and assessments. He will also be the one to let me know what my restrictions after surgery are and when I can start physical therapy in order to get my range of motion back in my arms....good thing I have some connections to some awesome PT's :) --meet with another new team member, Dr. R who will be my radiation oncologist. I will meet with her before surgery to discuss our plan for radiation to my right breast and chest wall, and possibly my spine. Radiation will start about 4-6 weeks after surgery. As you can see, it's going to be a long road ahead. But what better motivation to forge ahead than receiving such terrific news, like I did today! I can't thank you enough for being there for me - for all of the texts, phone calls, emails, blog posts, and facebook messages I received in the last couple of days. It truly makes me feel better to know that I have so many people praying for me - you guys are the best! Keep the prayers coming because we still have a long way to go. But for now, I will bask in this great news. For the next five weeks, I am going to focus much of my attention on trying to regain my energy, slowly begin exercising again, and taking the absolute best care of myself in anticipation of surgery. And you know I will also be mixing in fun times like this Saturday at the U of M game (thanks Aunt Clare!), a friends wedding, taking my hubby to a great concert, many birthday parties, strutting my stuff in a charity fashion show, our fundraiser on September 25, trips to the cider mill...and much more! Thanks again everyone! And thank you God for answering our prayers! xoxo, Meghan In honor of the coming of my favorite season, here are some fall pics from a wonderful trip to the U.P a couple of years ago... |
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